How Babies are like Puppies

I’m sure some readers were just turned off by the title. Get over it.
To begin with, we all we seem to think puppies and babies are the cutest sweetest things ever. Recently I even saw a documentary on why we think this. Did you know it’s the roundness of the eyes? Apparently, the features of babies and puppies stir some instinct in us. We see them and automatically want to protect them. Of course, those that hate babies possibly hate small terrier puppies too.
It’s still however a front for something that is in no way cute other than at that age.
Babies put everything in their mouths, like a teething puppy. Nothing is safe from slobber and teeth marks. They seem to know to what object you most desire. Puppies grab the favorite red pumps, while babies find jewelry, or even your hair.
Things seem to come out of both creatures that make you wonder. Constantly I have heard dog owners and new parents exclaim, “You should have seen the shit come out of ‘em last night!” At least puppies don’t go through the multiple shade phases. Babies seem to however hit that one point where changing a diaper is like a grab bag. You never know what it’s going to look like.
It goes without saying too, that both go through an awkward movement time. Puppies trip over their massive paws or floppy ears. Babies, well they just trip over everything. At least they have diapers then. It’s like a built in cushion, saving you from breaking any ass bones.
In retail, you discover other similarities, possibly faster than other professions. When one baby lets out a blood curdling scream in a store, it triggers other children. Eventually, if you don’t stop the first one, the entire store is listening to a symphony of cries. Any one who lives in a neighborhood of dogs has heard this with barking. One dog can not howl alone, which leads to night time behaviors.
I don’t know a single parent who hasn’t had to wake up in the middle of the night or at least extremely early in the morning. I think puppies and babies were made with the same internal clock. They don’t understand what a weekend is. I’d like to say they’re cheaper and more effective than an alarm clock, but they aren’t. They’re definitely not cheaper. Not by a long shot.
I would even argue that we put both critters in cages. They only difference is I can lock my dog in a cage and leave the house. Not sure we’re aloud to do that with babies. Wouldn’t it be nice sometimes if we could? Something tells me that the parents who feel the need to put a leash on their toddlers, probably consider this almost every day.
I’m fairly certain too that parents of bad children yell at their offspring as often and unnecessarily as owners of bad dogs. They tend to clap at them just as much too when they succeed at something. “Good job!” clap, clap, clap. “You got the ball!”
I have to end this short blog with one other fact.
There is such thing as an ugly baby. I know I’ve seen them. Of course, no baby in my family is ugly. And if there were, I still wouldn’t say it. Luckily, dogs have a way out. You can easily say, “That dog is just so ugly it’s cute!” You say this about a child and I’m certain you’ll be the owner of a new black eye. But they do exist. They exist even more than Santa Clause does.


On a side note, I apologize for the shortness. People are at the house and I can not enjoy my usual 30 minutes. This also means I did not edit/proofread. Tomorrow, I will have to tack on more time.